Surviving the Four-Month Sleep Regression: A Guide for Sleep-Deprived Parents
We know firsthand that the early months of parenthood can feel like a blur of sleepless nights. Just when you think you’re getting the hang of things, you might get hit with the infamous four-month sleep regression. Sleep disruption at four months is NOT universal. It may feel like it is because it seems like it’s all you read and hear about, but the truth is that the tired parents who DID experience it are just a little more…*vocal* about it. DON’T anticipate it: we’re convinced that for some families, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What is it?
*IF* your baby’s sleep patterns take a wild turn. Here's what you need to know:
1. Sleep cycle changes:
At around four months, babies undergo a neurological growth spurt, leading to changes in their sleep cycles. Their deep sleep becomes deeper, while the lighter sleep becomes lighter, resulting in more dramatic stages of the sleep cycle. Think of sleep cycles as waves, with peaks representing light sleep or awakening and valleys indicating deeper sleep. Infants have shallow waves and are never in REM or deep sleep, whereas adults have taller peaks and deeper valleys. After four months, babies develop adult sleep patterns, making them more prone to waking up completely when transitioning between sleep cycles. This can lead to shorter naps (30-45 minutes) and more frequent nighttime wake-ups.
2. Increased consciousness:
Along with that more dramatic awakening from deeper sleep, four-month-olds are CURIOUS and CONNECTED. Their little brains are expanding at a rapid rate and their curiosity about the world knows no bounds. This newfound awareness often leads to increased daytime stimulation, making it harder for them to wind down and catch those much-needed Z's at night. Additionally, they’re more connected and social. So when they wake completely, they may immediately think “where’s my mom?! Let’s hang out!!”
3. Physical milestones:
Around four months, babies are working towards major gross motor milestones like rolling over and sitting up. Watching them learn to move and use their bodies is so exciting, but the development of these skills can wreak havoc on their sleep schedule. The middle of the night might seem like the perfect time to practice moving.
4. Sleep associations:
During the early weeks and months, we often employ various methods to help babies sleep, such as rocking, feeding, or snuggling. By the four-month mark, these associations may become stronger and seemingly indispensable for their sleep. However, it's important to recognize that if we keep providing assistance, they will continue to rely on it. The key to promoting good sleep habits is gradually helping babies learn to sleep without external associations
Survival Strategies:
1. Establish a soothing routine:
Create a calming bedtime routine that signals to your baby that it's time to wind down. Think: cozy lullabies, reading, and quietly saying goodnight to things in the room or talking about your day. What you DO during the routine is not as important as the consistency of the routine. Make sure that all caregivers are doing the same quiet, calming activities in the same order. The purpose of the routine is to cue the baby that sleep is coming.
2. Encourage self-soothing:
Help your baby learn the art of self-soothing by allowing them to fall asleep in their crib. You may use The Soothing Ladder, or if the baby is ready, you may do some gentle sleep training.
3. Embrace the darkness:
At about 3 months old, your baby started producing melatonin. This sleepy hormone goes a long way towards helping their body feel ready for sleep. It’s likely that melatonin levels are highest in the early evening before 7 pm when it’s still light outside for most of the year. Melatonin levels are also elevated periodically throughout the day. Light -particularly sunlight- suppresses melatonin production. Therefore, while helping your baby learn to sleep, a pitch black room can be very helpful.
Additionally, because of the aforementioned increased consciousness, any visual stimulation can keep their little brains activated and alert. Total darkness when helping babies learn good sleep habits is essential.*
5. Sleep begets sleep begets sleep...
Ensuring that your baby gets enough daytime sleep can go a LONG way towards helping them sleep for longer stretches at night. Make sure your four-month-old is getting at least three and a half hours of daytime sleep, spread over two long naps and a little catnap in the evening. Early bedtime is essential to catch that sleepy melatonin wave in the early evening.
You will survive!
If you find yourself in the midst of the four-month sleep regression or reading this with fear and anticipation, it's essential to shift your mindset. Rather than viewing it as a distressing phase, appreciate that it signifies the beginning of an incredible period of growth and development. Babies are remarkable and capable beings. Trust that by approaching sleep confidently and believing in your baby's ability to sleep, you will navigate this phase and ultimately have a well-rested and contented baby
*Complete darkness is a useful tool when helping babies learn to become excellent sleepers. Please note that pitch black rooms are not 100% necessary for all babies AND it’s a great idea to experiment with introducing a little light once they are sleeping well.